


Picturing Love

by prettyrogue



Category: Bring Me The Horizon, Pierce the Veil, Sleeping With Sirens
Genre: Developing Relationship, Drama & Romance, F/M, Falling In Love, Fanfiction, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Inspired by Music, Music, Past Relationship(s), Relationship(s), Romance, Tour Bus, Touring
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-19
Updated: 2016-12-11
Packaged: 2018-08-31 22:24:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8596099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prettyrogue/pseuds/prettyrogue
Summary: After a lifetime of knowing only loss and death, Shane Stone finds it impossible to picture herself falling in love.





	1. Dream a Little Dream of Me

The massive, brick cathedral loomed over Shane, casting an impressively large shadow. She stood at the bottom of the concrete steps, staring up at the intricate, stained glass window. The rain was pouring down, flooding the church walkway. She gripped the handle of her black umbrella tightly, feeling her heart hammering in her chest. Looking down at the toes of her flooded shoes, Shane also realized she was wearing the only black dress she owned. Staring up again at the cathedral, Shane realized she had been here before.

This was the day of her Mom's funeral.

Hesitantly, Shane began to climb the steps. The modest heels of her shoes clicked and clacked against the cement. She stopped before the large, wooden doors, inhaling deeply. With her free hand, Shane reached for the wrought iron handle. The latch dropped and slowly, one of the double doors began to creak open, allowing Shane to peek inside.

The main foyer was dark, illuminated only by the overcast skies as the door opened further. However, within the cathedral, Shane could see an amber glow. She closed her umbrella upon stepping inside the church, seeking shelter from the downpour.

Shane followed the warm glow, finding herself in the main hall.

On the walls, candles were mounted and burning bright, responsible for the inviting glow. Shane noticed that a crimson red carpet had been rolled out down the aisle, rows and rows of empty wooden pews on either side. At the end of the carpet, a sturdy, wooden stand was supporting a casket. Her breath was becoming shorter, jagged, as she approached the familiar pine box. A shiver traveled down her spine. Beads of water rolled off of her umbrella, leaving a trail behind her along the carpet.

She stopped about a foot away from the casket, feeling an aching in her chest.

The room was absolutely quiet, save for the occasional crackle of a candle or the faraway rumble of thunder. She could hear her racing pulse from the blood pounding against her ear drum. With a short sigh, Shane reached out towards the coffin, fingertips delicately grazing the polished wood.

There was a knock from within the casket.

Shane's heart skipped a beat.

She pulled her trembling hand away.

"Let him in," A voice spoke softly. 

Startled, she spun around. Her mother was standing behind her, smiling warmly. She looked angelic in a long, lacy white gown. Her hair fell in long, loose waves, framing her delicate face. Shane stood frozen as her Mom approached her, standing at her side. Wrapping a warm, familiar arm around her daughter, she guided Shane to face the casket. Again, there was a knock from within.

Shane swallowed hard, looking to her mother. She was still  smiling maternally, seeming to emit some kind of translucent glow. She gave Shane a delicate push towards the casket, just in time for another knock. Inhaling deeply, Shane grabbed a hold of the lid of the coffin and lifted it open.

The lid was heavier than she had expected, requiring most of her muscle. Inside, the wooden box was lined with cushion, purple satin, not to mention a very much _alive_ body. One that belonged to her ex-boyfriend, Aaron. The one who had broken her heart. The one who had left her no longer able to believe in love. The one who had dumped her the day of her mother's funeral.

"Let him in, Shane,"

His eyes opened, revealing tiny pools of blue. His soft pinkish lips curled into a smile. Aaron pushed the bouquet of flowers off of his chest and began to sit up.

Shane stepped back, cringing away, the aching in her chest between to feel like her heart was tearing open. She pinched her eyes tightly shut, clutching her chest.

She couldn't look at him.

"Let him in."

♥♥♥♥♥

Shane Stone's eyes snapped open, blinded by light.

She pinched them shut again, groaning. She shielded her eyes with her slender arm, blinking a few times to readjust her vision. Her heart was still jittery from the dream. Not only was it uncommon for her to dream about her mother, but she hadn't seen or heard from her ex, Aaron, in nearly four years, since the day of her Mom's funeral. The anniversary of her mother's passing was quickly approaching; was that what her subconscious had been trying to tell her?

Shane raked her hand through her long, messy brown hair.

The eight-seater van rumbled down the interstate, a walk-in trailer coasting along behind them, full of equipment and band merchandise. California sunshine poured in through the windows, the warmth of the rays nearly overpowering the air conditioner. Shane sat in the row furthest from the front, along with her bandmate and best friend, Teagan Levitt.

Teagan played drums and Shane played guitar in their four-piece ensemble, Plagued.

She looked over at him, finding him consumed with a game on his phone. He had ear buds in his ears, the sounds of heavy metal faintly recognizable from Shane's seat. His feet were tapping like crazy, along with the double-bass in the song.

In the row ahead of theirs, Jeff Miyoshi, bassist and BFF, was sprawled out across the seat, reading the latest edition of Altermative Press. His MacBook was laying open on his chest, playing Deadmau5.

In the front of the van, Brandon Morris, band manager, and West Dyer, lead vocals and keys, were having a conversation amongst themselves.

"Are we there yet?" Shane called up to the front of the van.

West looked over his shoulder with a wicked grin, dark curls bouncing.

"Sleeping beauty!" Teagan shouted, deafened to the volume of his own voice over the music blaring from his iPod into his ears. "You're awake!"

Shane rolled her eyes.

From the row ahead, Jeff peeked over the edge of the seat. He had an absolutely goofy smile on his face.

"We're in Sacramento, Shane!" He cheered. "We're almost there!"

"Seven hours later," West grumbled from the front, turning back around in his seat.

"You can all thank Teagan for that," Brandon retorted irritably from the driver's seat. "He's the one who booked our flights to LAX instead of San José, even after I told him three times."

Teagan kept tapping his toes and playing on his phone, ignorantly blissful.

"We'll be there soon," Jeff assured Shane before flopping back onto the seat with a sigh.

He handed her his magazine from over the seat. Shane snatched it, flipping through the glossy pages. It didn't take her long before she came across a full-page advertisement for the tour they were about to join. Of course, Plagued wasn't listed on the page with the other bands as they had been a last minute addition.

Two weeks before kick-off, the original opening act had backed out. With nothing to lose, Plagued agreed to join the circuit, pooling together enough money to rent a van, a trailer, and fly out west. Many bands declined the offer, unable to fit the seven-week tour into their schedule. However, Plagued had only been signed to Epitaph the month before, having only released their first EP a mere six months before getting signed. Their schedule was bare aside from part-time jobs and studio time, as they struggled to put together a full album. Upon getting the offer, they all jumped at the chance to share the stage with some of the biggest names in the scene - Pierce the Veil, Sleeping with Sirens, and Bring Me The Horizon.

Shane was still having trouble believing their luck.

The van pulled into a gas station, no more than twenty minutes later.

"Last stop before the venue," Brandon told them, proceeding to hop out of the van and start fueling up. Teagan and Jeff headed inside to stock up on junk food, while Shane and West opted to taking a short walk around the parking lot, stretching their legs.

"Does this seem... crazy... to you?" West asked her, brow furrowing.

"Abso-fucking-lutely," Shane laughed. "We're almost there and I still can't process it."

"What do you think it's going to be like?" He wondered aloud.

"Like any other tour," She shrugged it off. "Only... better. Bigger crowds."

"Remember when we wrote that list of bands we wanted to tour with?" West snickered, shaking his head at the memory. Shane laughed as well, remembering her classic contributions such as Led Zeppelin and Pink Floyd, despite the protests of the guys. "This is like a perfect three-for-three, for me at least."

"Dreams do come true," Shane told him. "Once in a while."

"Not bad for our first, official gig,"

"Not bad at all,"

Brandon called them back to the van. Inside, Teagan and Jeff were already snacking. Shane returned to her seat in the rear of the van, grabbing a handful of chips from Teagan as she settled into her seat. She snacked away happily as the van rumbled on again, pulling back onto the road.

Within ten minutes, they were arriving at the venue, three tour buses and a few similar, white vans parked in the back lot of the arena. Roadies, crew, and even a few musicians were wandering around, moving gear and setting up.

"This is actually happening," Jeff murmured, face practically pressed against the glass as he admired the buses.

"Let's unpack, _then_ go check out the stage, alright?" Brandon said as he pulled into a parking spot. West, Jeff, and Teagan jumped out before the van had made it into park.

There was a door propped open to allow for easy unpacking and transferring of equipment. The three of them bolted inside, heading straight for the main stage.

Shane rolled her eyes.

Brandon mumbled obscenities under his breath as he unlocked the trailer. He seemed tense.

"Take it easy, Bran," Shane assured him, patting his shoulder. "It's only day one."

"I don't know why you guys even asked me to be your manager," He muttered. "You don't listen to me, anyway."

"Don't take it so personally," She advised.

"I'm going to go get them," Brandon told her. "Do you mind unpacking the trailer?"

"Why don't you unpack, and I'll go get them?" Shane suggested.

"Because you'll just run off with them," He rolled his eyes. "I know you. So stay here, unpack, and I'll be back soon."

Shane climbed into the trailer and started moving their equipment around, muttering to herself. She had finished unloading most of Teagan's drum cases onto the ground outside when there was a knock against the side of the trailer. Startled, Shane turned towards the open hatch sharply. Her foot caught on a piece of packing plastic, causing her to slip and fall on her ass. Her heart was racing. The knocking from within the coffin replayed again in her mind. 

"You okay?"

Shane was skeptic to look up.

"Fine," She grumbled, pausing before climbing back up to her feet. She dusted off her shorts and her legs, finally looking over to whoever was standing in the mouth of the trailer. To her dismay, it was Kellin Quinn, the front-man of Sleeping with Sirens. His hands were tucked into the pockets of his skinny jeans, shaggy hair brushed out of his eyes. Feeling only slightly more mortified than before, Shane busied herself with unpacking the trailer.

"Want a hand?" Kellin offered, outstretching his arms to take the amplifier case out of Shane's grip. With a small shrug, she handed it off to him.

"Sure,"

He took the amp and set it down on the ground outside of the trailer.

"So, you a roadie?" Kellin asked. "Or merch?"

"No," Shane smirked, handing him another amplifier.

"Girlfriend?" He asked, eyebrows knitting together.

"Nah, I prefer men," She shrugged before handing him a kit containing her distortion pedals.

"I mean, are you... someones... girlfriend?" Kellin blushed.

"God no," Shane scoffed. "These boys are clowns."

She handed him her guitar case, covered in stickers and graffiti, not to mention tie-dye duck tape letters to spell out 'SHANE'.

"Be careful with that," She warned.

"Noted," Kellin looked down at the case, appearing deep in thought. "Is this... Shane's?"

"Yeah," Her eyebrows raised. "It is."

His eyes were still glued to the case.

"Fucking legend," Kellin laughed. "What a talented guitarist."

He didn't notice the sly grin that spread across Shane's lips. She folded her slender arms across her chest and held her chin high, enjoying Kellin's praise.

"I picked up their EP a few weeks ago and holy shit," He finally looked up at her, eyes twinkling. "That guy has some incredible skills. Probably the best riffs I've heard lately. So original."

"I know, right?" Shane giggled, hopping out of the trailer. Kellin stood a few inches taller than her, still holding her guitar case tightly, unbeknownst to him. She took it from him, setting it down against the trailer.

"I'm Kellin," He introduced himself, offering her his hand. She accepted the gesture with a smile.

"I'm -"

"SHANE!"

She looked over, hair whipping around. She noticed West and Jeff were off to the side of the building, frantically waving their arms.

"COME HERE!"

"YOU HAVE TO SEE THIS!"

Shane looked back to Kellin, who was staring at her dumbfounded. She wore a smug smile as she pulled her hand out of his grip.

"Sounds important," She told him. "I better run. It was nice meeting you, Kellin!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Shane](http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=211795452)


	2. Have Some Fun

"You guys killed it!"

Ellie, the tour manager, was a tall, lanky woman with bright green eyes, a bleach blond pixie-cut, and two full sleeves of colourful tattoos. As Plagued made their way off the stage following their soundcheck, she handed them their laminated passes.

"Do not lose these," She warned. "Security isn't trained to recognize your faces."

Shane set down her guitar on her designated stand before taking the pass from Ellie. She smiled at Shane, keeping her grip on the pass to catch her attention.

"I just want to personally welcome you to tour, woman to woman," Ellie told her, leaning in slightly. Shane nodded. "If you need anything, wanna talk, or just, I don't know, not hang around guys for five minutes, I'm always here."

"Thank you," Shane grinned.

Ellie gave her shoulder a pat before flitting off, dragging Brandon along after her. Shane licked over her dry lips, spotting a mini-fridge tucked under one of the back counters. As she approached, she noticed not only Kellin, but also Vic Fuentes, from Pierce the Veil, chatting by the fridge. Standing tall, Shane walked over, catching their attention almost immediately.

"Yo, Shane," Vic addressed her.

Ignoring him, Shane bent down, flinging open the door of the small refrigerator. She grabbed a bottle of water, kicking the door shut with her foot as she straightened up. Shane twisted off the lid of the bottle, guzzling back a large chug of water. She wiped off her lips with the back of her hand.

"What?"

Vic cracked a lopsided grin.

"You were fucking unreal," He told her, offering his fist for a fist bump. Shane smirked, returning the gesture. "How long have you been playing for?"

"Around twenty years," She shrugged it off, taking a smaller sip from her water.

"Fucking stellar," Vic assured her. "You're gonna blow up after this."

"God, I hope not," Shane giggled. "That'd be messy."

Kellin cracked a smile.

"Gifted shredder _and_ decent Dad jokes," Vic gave her a nod of approval. "You sticking around?"

"Probably not,"

Vic frowned.

"What's more important than watching me practice?" He touched his hand to his chest, feigning hurt. Shane rolled her eyes.

"Food," She laughed.

"Fair enough,"

"I'll come by and check out your set tonight," She compromised.

"You better," Vic winked.

Shane turned her attention to Kellin. His eyes seemed to widen when Shane met his stare.

"You're awfully quiet," She observed. Before Kellin could respond, Vic piped up on his behalf.

"He's still embarrassed that he thought you were a guy," He explained, causing Kellin to turn a deep shade of red. "But, honestly, you're not totally what I was expecting either."

"I'm used to it," She laughed. "It literally happens to me all the time. My name is Shane and I play guitar in an alternative metal band."

Both of the guys laugh.

"Besides," Her hands find her narrow hips. "I'm impressed that you didn't Google us ahead of time."

"Bought your EP on a whim," Kellin told her with a smirk. "Fitting cover art, by the way."

"Respect,"

"I'm surprised you guys aren't a bigger deal," Vic's eyebrows knitted together, shifting the subject. "A chick in a rock band? That shreds better than most guys? How has no one picked up on that until now? As I said, you'll be huge when this tour is done."

"I've never wanted Plagued to be about me," Shane told him sharply.

"You're an axe-slaying goddess, Shane," Vic snorted. "I don't think you have a choice."

"Still doesn't make it about me," She insisted. "I'm one of the four horsemen... horsewoman..."

"What?" Vic's nose scrunched up.

"The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse?" Shane asked him, eyebrow cocking. "Plagued? No?"

"Clever," Kellin chuckled, turning to Vic, who still seemed amused but confused. "The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is the painting that they used for their album cover art."

"The Four Horsemen?" Vic gave his head a shake, looking to Shane.

"So, who does that make you?" Kellin asked, flicking his hair out of his eyes. He had truly spectacular eyes. Shane chewed on the inside of her cheek.

"Conquest," She replied, not missing a beat. Kellin's eyebrows rose, a smile gracing his lips.

"Damn," Vic sighed.

"Fuentes, five minutes!" One of the stage crew called over, catching Vic's attention. He gave them a nod, crouching down to snag a water bottle from the fridge. Shane and Kellin shared a knowing, flirty stare, causing Kellin to turn pink. Vic stood, looking to Shane with a smirk.

"I think you should come by the dressing room tonight, have some drinks, tell me more about this... _conquest_... that you speak of," He winked.

Shane rolled her eyes.

"Only if I can bring my friends along, too," She countered. "Wouldn't be the same without death, war, and famine."

"Sounds... creepy," Vic frowned.

"Now you know," Shane shrugged.

"You're weird," Vic grinned, rustling his hand through Shane's already messy hair. "I like you."

"I'm still not sure how I feel about you," She joked, swatting his hand away. Vic laughed and skipped over to his guitar, slinging the strap over his head as he walked over to his place at center stage.

Shane turned to Kellin, flashing him a dazzling smile. She enjoyed watching the apples of his cheeks turn pink.

"You staying to watch?" She asked.

"May as well," He nodded. "I'm up next."

"I hope you're not still embarrassed, about earlier," Shane told him, shrugging her slender shoulders. "It honestly happens to me a lot. It's cool."

"It's still pretty embarrassing," He laughed, combing his hand through his hair. "I was fan-boying about you... to you."

"And, if we're being transparent, it was totally fucking awesome," She giggled. "I didn't mind."

Kellin blushed.

"Besides, I don't want this band to be about me," She reminded him. "I'm sort of... glad... you didn't immediately recognize me."

"That makes one of us," Kellin snorted.

"Probably wouldn't have made as good of an impression," Shane winked. "I'll see you around, Kellin."

♥♥♥♥♥

The first official set of the tour was an absolute hit. The crowd was wild. Kids were jumping around, moshing, crowd surfing, and screaming for more. Shane was buzzing with adrenaline, feeling the energy coursing through her veins long after their set was done. The audience had loved Plagued.

Once offstage, the four friends shared in a giant, sweaty group hug.

"We did it!" Jeff cheered.

"They loved us!" West punced the air.

"I can't fucking believe this!" Shane shouted.

"LOUD NOISES!" Teagan added.

The group broke apart in laughter, grabbing bottles of water and heading for the backstage door. As Shane followed after her band, someone grabbed a hold of her tattooed arm, stopping her in her tracks.

She swatted Vic's hand away, yet again.

"Here she is," He said, looking to his company. Shane looked over, finding herself under the scrutiny of the dark, dreamy eyes of Oliver Sykes. She licked her salty lips, smiling. "Shane, this is Oli. Oli, this is the guitar goddess herself."

"He wouldn't shut up about you," He told her, his tongue heavy with a Northern English accent.

"Cute," She laughed, shooting Vic a glance before looking back to Oliver.

"I can see why," Oliver went on, a cheeky smirk on his face. "You're fucking amazing."

"Thank you," Shane sighed, on cloud nine.

"You're sticking around for my set, right?" Vic asked her. She looked over at him, shrugging.

"I've got half an hour," She reminded him.

"Don't fuck around with me, Shane," Vic warned her jokingly. She rolled her eyes.

"I need to make a call," Shane explained.

"Boyfriend?" Vic asked, frowning.

Shane rolled her eyes, looking back to Oliver.

"It was a pleasure meeting you,"

He gave her a nod.

She patted Vic's shoulder before taking off towards the door, following the winding hallway to their dressing room. Plagued was set up in the last of the four, spacious change-rooms at the end of the hallway. Inside, the guys were already drinking, half-naked, and horsing around. Shane dodged Jeff, whipping his t-shirt around over his head, grabbing her fresh laundry off the sofa and heading straight for the bathroom.

She took a quick shower, stripping out of her clothes once she was under the stream of hot water. Shane rinsed her sweaty stage clothes after washing up, hanging them to dry over the glass wall of the shower. Once she was clean, Shane dried herself off and changed into her clean clothes. She wrung out her hair, letting her damp, tangled tresses fall messily. According to the time on her cell phone, Shane had ten minutes before Pierce the Veil was due to start.

"Where you going?" West asked her as she emerged from the bathroom, leaning over the back of the couch.

"I'm gonna watch the rest of the show," She told him, eyes glued to her phone as she scrolled through her contacts. "You coming?"

"In a bit," He assured her. "I think I need another drink."

"Alright," Shane looked up, smiling. "Suit yourself."

She pressed 'call' upon highlighting her (oldest) younger brother's name. Shane pressed her phone to her ear as she made her way back to the stage. After a few rings, the line finally clicked.

" _Finally_ ," Ezra grumbled from the other line.

Despite being seventeen, Ezra was one of Shane's best friends. When he had been born, Shane took him under her wing, somewhat coercing him into the same hobbies and inevitable habits. They were inseparable.

"I told you I'd call you whenever I have time," She reminded him.

" _It's eleven over here_ ," Her brother informed her. " _It's only eight in California_."

"Lucky me," Shane giggled. "The night is still young!"

" _How'd you first show go_?" Ezra yawned. " _Did you bomb_?"

"Shut up," She laughed. "It went amazing. Everyone loved us, Ez."

" _I figured as much_ ," He chuckled from the other line. " _What did you open with_?"

"Have Some Fun,"

" _Oh, that's disgusting_ ," Ezra squealed with delight. " _I bet the crowd went_ nuts."

"That's an understatement," Shane grinned. "How's home?"

" _Reid is being a prick_ ," Her brother muttered. " _And Ben is being annoying. Nothing new_."

"For one, Reid is your father, so stop calling him Reid and start calling him Dad," Shane lectured. "Two, while he is a bit of a butt plug, he's your father, so have a _little_ respect. He does care about you. He is trying. He... means well."

" _Coming from you_?" Ezra snorted with laughter.

"I know we don't see eye to eye, Reid and I," She sighed. "But... there is a mutual understanding between us. He loves me. I... tolerate him."

Ezra laughed.

"Lastly, give Ben the benefit of the doubt, alright?" Shane continued. "I know he's young, and probably a pain in the ass at times, but you have to teach him, Ez."

" _He's so fucking annoying_ ," Ezra groaned.

"Yeah, well, so were you at his age," She reminded him. "I made you, kid. Now repay your debts and save your younger brother. Teach him to shred. Make him CDs. Take him to a show."

" _Shane_..." He whined.

"Do it," She hissed. "For me."

" _Fine_ ," Ezra sighed. " _I miss you_."

"I've been gone one day," Shane laughed. "See? This is why you need Ben."

Shane stood outside the door to the stage. She figured she had a few more minutes to spend chatting with her brother.

" _So, what else are you gonna do tonight, rock star_?"

"Watch the rest of the show, have some drinks with my new friends," She shrugged.

The door creaked open from behind her. She looked over her shoulder, spotting Vic poking his head out into the hallway.

"Shane, come on, we're on in two minutes," He told her. "I'm not going on without you watching."

" _Who's that_?" Ezra asked.

"Vic," Shane rolled her eyes. "Listen, I've gotta go, but I'll call you tomorrow, alright? At a decent hour."

" _Vic Fuentes_?" Ezra ignored the rest of her sentence. " _You're actually hanging out with Vic Fuentes_?"

"You're gonna miss all the fans cheering for me," Vic continued.

"Yeah, _him_ ," Shane grunted. "Have a good night, Ez. Sleep tight. I love you, bud."

" _I love you too, Shane_ ," Ezra sighed. " _Have fun, be safe. Maybe get an autograph for me or something_."

"I'll see what I can do, kiddo," She smiled. "I'll talk to you soon."

" _Good night_ ,"

She ended the call and stuffed her phone into her back pocket, climbing the steps to meet Vic at the door.

"I didn't know you had a kid," He said, eyebrows furrowing.

"I fucking don't," Shane laughed, playfully slapping his arm. "That was my brother."

"Phew, had me sweating," He teased, holding open the door for her. "I don't think I'm ready to be a baby daddy."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Shane 1](http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=211795452) [Shane 2](http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=211795828)


	3. Just Friends

The following day, the convoy of buses and vans left Sacramento bright and early, travelling a little over six hours to Santa Barbara for their next show. While much of the drive had been boring and monotonous highway scenery, the last hour of the road trip ran along the Pacific coast, permitting a beautiful view of the ocean. According to Brandon, the venue was relatively close to the shore. Shane had full intentions of visiting the Cali waters tomorrow before they took off for Los Angeles.

After arriving at the venue, the guys took to unpacking the trailer, as per punishment by Brandon for their stunt the day before. Shane remained curled up in the back seat of the van, using her moment of solitude as an opportunity to call her brothers.

This time, Shane called her home phone number, hoping one of the boys would pick up.

" _Hello?_ " Her step-father, Reid, answered the phone. She sighed.

"Hey Reid, how's it going?" Shane cringed.

" _Shane? Oh, it's great to hear from you_ ," She could hear the grin in his voice. Despite their differences, Shane could tell that he was genuinely happy to hear from her. " _How's Cali treating you?_ "

"Pretty good," She assured him. "Last night was a hit. We're all looking forward to tonight."

" _I'm so proud of you, kid_ ,"

"Thanks,"

" _Keeping out of trouble, I hope_ ," He reminded her.

"Trouble? Me?" Shane laughed. "Are you sure you're not thinking of Ezra?"

" _He gets it from_ you,"

Shane scoffed.

" _Someone wants to talk to you_ ," Reid told her.

The line was filled with the muffled sounds of someone handing over the phone.

" _Shane!_ " Her youngest brother, Benjamin, cheered from the other line.

"Hey man, how's it going?"

" _Great, I spent the day at Wild Water Works with Dan and Cameron_ ," Ben told her. " _Dan's Mom bought us pizza and ice cream after_."

"That's awesome," Shane smiled. "Sounds like a lot of deliciousness and fun."

" _Will you be home before summer is over_?"

"Of course I will," She assured him. "Seven weeks, bud. We'll go to the water park when I get home, I promise."

" _Are you having fun_?" Ben asked her.

"Yeah, lots of fun," Shane told him, her smile growing wider. "I've made lots of friends, everyone really likes our music, going to visit the ocean tomorrow."

" _Aren't there sharks in California?_ " Her brother sounded panicked.

"Yeah, but I'm not scared," She scoffed. "I'll punch a shark, I don't care."

Benjamin laughed.

There was a knock against the window of the van, startling Shane. She looked up, finding Kellin staring at her with a goofy smile. He waved at her; she returned the wave.

"Hey bud, I've got to get going, help set up for our show tonight," She told her brother. "I'll call you soon, okay?"

" _Okay_ ," Ben sighed. " _I miss you, Shane_."

"I miss you too, Benji," She smiled. "I love you."

" _I love you, too_ ," He chimed. " _Have fun!_ "

"Thank you,"

Shane tossed her phone into her purse and climbed out of the van. Kellin loomed over her, scratching the back of his neck.

"What's up?" She asked, straightening her shirt.

"You busy?"

"Soundcheck in an hour," Shane told him with a shrug.

"You hungry?" Kellin asked, eyebrow cocking.

"Always," She grinned. "Did you have something in mind?"

"There's a burrito place just down the road," He told her. "I saw it when we drove in."

"I'm in," Shane beamed. "Let me grab my wallet."

"I can get it," Kellin insisted.

"It's fine," She assured him. "I can pay for myself."

Shane climbed back into the van, grabbing her purse from the back seat. She slung the strap onto her shoulder after hopping out of the van. She waved for Kellin to start walking, allowing him to lead the way. She fell into step with him, finding herself walking close at his side.

"So, you're from Canada?" He asked.

"Eh," Shane smirked.

"Where- _aboots_ are you from?" Kellin played along.

"Niagara, Ontario," She told him. "Specifically a tiny little town full of wineries and vineyards."

"Sounds..." He hesitated.

"Hence why I became a rock star," Shane joked. "I needed to get out."

"And your family?" Kellin asked.

"Well," She licked over her lips, unsure of how much she was willing to share with Kellin. "I live with my step-father and my two half-brothers."

"Ah," He nodded. "Should I... ask about your parents?"

"Maybe another time," She smiled sweetly. "Why don't you tell me about your family?"

"Well, my parents divorced when I was young, my father wasn't around much," He admitted. "I have two brother, two sisters, and a mother that somehow manages to keep all of our shit together."

Shane nodded, dwelling on her most recent dream about her mother. She sighed, folding her arms across her chest.

"Okay, so, moving on from family..." Kellin trailed off, noticing her discomfort.

"Please,"

"What's your full name?" He asked.

"Shane Elizabeth Stone," She told him. "You?"

"Kellin Quinn Bostwick,"

"What's your favourite colour?" Shane asked, again changing the subject.

"Probably green, maybe blue," Kellin replied. "Favourite band?"

"Impossible," She sighed, raking her hand through her hair. "Probably Zeppelin, maybe Floyd."

The pair continued on with their undeclared game of 21 Questions until they reached their destination. Once inside, Shane ordered a sweet potato burrito with extra beans. Despite Kellin's many attempts and protests, Shane paid for her own burrito. Together, her and Kellin took a seat at a small table for two while they waited for their food.

"Gonna go check out the beach tomorrow?" Kellin asked.

"Definitely," Shane nodded. "I can't wait."

"You should join us," He suggested. "We're planning on heading out first thing. Bring the guys, too."

"Yeah," She smiled. "I'm sure they'd like that."

They grabbed their food as it was served and began walking back to the venue. Shane took small nibbles while she walked, trying to keep up the conversation as well. She was rather enjoying Kellin's company.

"So... do you have a... boyfriend?"

Shane stuffed her mouth with a bite of burrito. She chewed slowly, cautiously, allowing herself enough time to piece together a response. However, her delay was out of character.

"You don't have to answer," Kellin insisted. "I mean, if you don't want to talk about it."

She swallowed hard.

"No, it's... fine," Shane sighed. "I don't have a boyfriend."

"Bad breakup?"

"You have no idea," She laughed dryly, taking another bite of her burrito. She didn't wait to swallow before speaking; she was eager to change the subject. "What about you?"

"Nah, I don't have a boyfriend," Kellin laughed.

"Don't tell Vic that," Shane teased. "How about a girlfriend?"

"Nah, don't have any girlfriends, either," He shrugged. "After my last break-up, I figured maybe it was time to focus on the band, on myself."

Shane nodded in understanding.

"What else do you like to do, besides play guitar?" Kellin asked.

"Listen to music, write, hang out with my friends, travel, be outside," She shrugged. "You?"

"Something similar," He nodded in agreement. "Favourite movie?"

"The Princess Bride," Shane replied quickly.

"Inconceivable!" Kellin bellowed, causing Shane to burst into laughs. "Does it ever get old, being surrounded by a bunch of dudes all the time?"

"You'd think so," Shane smirked. "But... I wouldn't trade it for anything. I absolutely love the guys; we're family. We've been friends for years and have been through so much together. I really can't imagine myself doing anything else."

"Me either," Kellin shook his head. "It seems like you've spent your whole life preparing for this."

"Truth is," She locked eyes with him. "I have."

"Y'know..." His lips curled into a crooked smirk. "I'm really glad you agreed to come with me, Shane. You're really fucking cool."

"Thanks. I, uh..." Shane blushed. "You too."

Shane was finished her burrito by the time the two returned to the venue. Kellin followed after Shane into the building, walking her as far as their dressing room door. From the other side, she could hear the guys talking animatedly and laughing loudly.

"Maybe we could... do this again," Kellin suggested.

"That'd be cool," Shane nodded. "I'd like that."

"Cool," He smiled, taking a few steps backward towards his dressing room. "I'll, uh, see you around."

"More than likely," She winked, reaching for the door handle.

"Oh, and Shane?"

She looked over at Kellin, eyebrows raising.

"Do you like hiking?"

Shane grinned and nodded.

"Fuck yeah," She replied enthusiastically.

"I was thinking of checking out Joshua Tree Park on our day off," He shrugged. "Would you... be interested in joining me?"

Shane could feel the blood rushing to her cheeks.

"Yeah," She smiled. "That would be... awesome."

"Cool," Kellin chuckled. "Looking forward to it."

Shane didn't want to wait around for Kellin to say anything more. She opened the door to their dressing room and stealthily slid inside. West was busying journalling while Jeff and Teagan were watching MTV, laughing and sharing in a bag of cheddar popcorn.

"Where the hell were you?" West asked, looking up from his journal. He set down his pen in the crease of the spine.

"I went to grab some food," Shane explained.

"Thanks for inviting us," Teagan retorted sarcastically, stuffing his mouth with a handful of popcorn.

"Sorry," She rolled her eyes. "Kellin mentioned burritos and I was -"

"Kellin?" Jeff glanced over his shoulder at Shane, wiggling his eyebrows. "The plot thickens."

"Shut up," Shane hissed.

"I'm hurt and _offended_ that you didn't offer to grab us a burrito," Teagan muttered.

"We can go after soundcheck," She suggested. "It's really not that far."

"Maybe I won't be hungry after soundcheck," Teagan countered. "Have you considered that?"

"You're always hungry, Teagan," Shane rolled her eyes.

She took a seat on the sofa next to West. He stared over at her before returning his attention to his journal, scribbling furiously.

"So, Kellin, eh?" He murmured lowly.

"It's not like that," Shane sighed, raking her hand through her messy hair. "We're just friends."

"We'll see how long _that_ lasts," West snickered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Shane](http://www.polyvore.com/just_friends/set?id=211796248)


	4. Really Got a Hold on Me

With her freshly strung guitar in hand, Shane made her way down the long, narrow hallway. Above her, the long track of fluorescent lights were flickering. They produced a dingy, off-green tint, staining the scuffed, white walls and chipped, white tiles of the floor.

Her pass slapped against her side as she walked briskly. It was unlike Shane to run late for soundcheck.

She jogged up the stairs to the stage, throwing open the side door. Shane hurried out onto the stage, fumbling to plug in her guitar and her distortion pedals. She slung the strap of her guitar around her neck, fixing her hair. As she pulled her hair out from under the strap, Shane stared around the stage. Teagan's drums were set up, Jeff's bass was waiting in a stand where he normally stood, and a microphone was placed at the front of the stage.

Yet, she was alone.

The house lights were on, aimed at the stage, transitioning between red, white, and blue. Shane shielded her eyes with her hand, looking beyond the blinding lights to the back of the arena. The floor was completely empty. Upon scanning the upper bowls, Shane found all of the seats were empty, as well. Squinting, she was able to make out the vague silhouette of someone standing in the light of one of the far doorways.

"Hey!" Shane yelled, voice echoing through out the arena.

The figure didn't move.

"Where is everyone?" She shouted yet again.

Whoever was standing there continued to ignore Shane. With a huff of defeat, she let her arm fall back to her side. She flipped her hair over her shoulder and gave the strings of her guitar a little strum. The notes filled the arena, reverberating off of the seats and walls, vibrating the stage beneath Shane's feet. She began plucking away, her fingers flying across the frets as she played an impromptu solo.

When Shane looked up, eyes flickering back to the doorway, she was surprised to see that the figure had disappeared. She abruptly stopped playing as she eagerly scanned the arena for any signs of her company.

Clapping began from behind her.

The hair on the back of her neck stood on end. Inhaling deeply, Shane turned around. She swallowed hard, forgetting how to exhale as she came face to face with Aaron. The light danced off of his short, curly blond hair. His blue eyes twinkled. A seemingly genuine smile stretched across his soft pink lips.

"That was fantastic," He praised.

Shane pinched her eyes tightly shut. From behind her eyelids, tears began to well.

"Go away," She whispered, her voice weak and trembling.

"Let me in, Shane," Aaron insisted, reaching out to grab a hold of her arms. Her entire body tensed within his grip. His fingertips pressed into her flesh. "Let me in!"

♥♥♥♥♥

"Shane!"

She bolted upright, gasping for air. She had a handful of West's shirt in her tightly clenched fist. Her entire body was trembling.

West looked absolutely terrified.

"What happened?" He asked. "Are you alright?"

Shane was speechless.

"You just started... _screaming_ ," Jeff murmured from the row of seats ahead. Both Jeff and Teagan had turned around in their seats. From the driver's seat, Brandon was also watching in the reflection of the rear view mirror as he drove.

Slowly, Shane released West's shirt from her grasp. She hugged her knees into her chest, burying her face into her knees. Her muscles were aching and twitching uncomfortably from the tension. She gave her head a shake, inhaling sharply before lifting her head to face her friends.

"It was..." She licked over her lips. "Just a dream."

"Some dream," Teagan scoffed. "Sounded more like a nightmare."

"Do you want to talk about it?" West asked, hesitantly reaching out for her. He placed his hand on her upper back. Shane shrugged her shoulders, eyes fluttering towards the window.

The van was pulling to a stop in the parking lot of a beach.

"No," She sighed, shaking her head. "I don't."

"Is this the first time?" Jeff asked, eyebrows raising.

With a defeated sigh, Shane shook her head.

"Okay, spill it," Brandon demanded from the front of the van. He pulled the keys from the ignition and climbed into the second row of seats, wedging himself between Jeff and Teagan.

Raking her hand through her hair, Shane collected her thoughts. Even though they were her best friends, the guys had never truly understood the damage that Aaron had caused when he left her. With a sigh, she looked to her lap.

"It's Aaron," She mumbled. "I keep seeing him. First, he was in my Mom's coffin. It was at her funeral. She was there, too. She told me to let him in... then I was on my way to soundcheck, and I was alone. He was on the stage, he... grabbed me."

"Shane, Aaron is history," Teagan assured her. "He won't come around with us here."

"You haven't seen or heard from him in what, five years?" Brandon reminded her. "It doesn't seem like he's planning on returning."

"It just seemed so real," Shane told them sheepishly.

"How long have you been having these... dreams?" West asked, eyebrow cocking.

"Just this week," She shrugged. "The first one was the morning of our first show."

"Maybe your subconscious is trying to tell you something," Jeff suggested. "I mean, your Mom was telling you to let him in... he's the one person you'll probably never forgive..."

"Fuck him," Teagan snorted. "He doesn't deserve forgiveness. What kind of monster breaks up with someone on the day of their mother's funeral?"

Shane slumped lower into her seat.

"But without forgiveness, chances are that Shane is going to hold onto what happened to her for a long time," Jeff explained softly. "She's going to become bitter and afraid of love. Maybe that's what your dream is trying to tell you, Shane. You need to forgive, move on, and let love in again."

"Love isn't real," She rolled her eyes.

"Maybe Jeff has a point," Brandon chimed.

"It has been a while since you've seen any action," West contributed. "You have to admit... it's probably lonely."

Shane slapped his arm.

"So, what?" Teagan scoffed. "You think she needs to get laid?"

This was why Shane didn't talk to the guys about this kind of stuff.

"Not necessarily," Jeff shook his head. "I mean, yeah, probably. West is right. It's been a while. But I'm talking about real love. Go on dates, get to know, open up, build trust... y'know?"

"This is probably why you're the only one in a steady, stable relationship, Miyoshi," Teagan nodded, pulling a face of approval. He looked to Shane, smirking lopsidedly. "And lucky you, Shane! You're surrounded by bleeding heart, brooding musicians that are practically lining up to romance you."

"I'm not here for a relationship," She scrunched up her nose. "I'm here to play music."

"And that's fine," Brandon assured her. "That's all you're getting paid for."

"Seriously? You've got a pool of talented, good-looking eligible men to take your pick from," Teagan laughed. "It's like the Bachelorette, for fuck's sake. They're all infatuated with you, anyway."

Shane rolled her eyes.

"I'm not a god damn Bachelorette," She waved him off. "I'm not... taking my pick... just, no. They're my friends."

"Okay, but say you were to have feelings for someone, hypothetically," Jeff shrugged his shoulders. "Maybe it's time you pursue it, instead of hiding behind the excuse that you're too busy, or that the band is too important."

"It's not an excuse," Shane defended, folding her arms across her chest.

"Yes, it is," West sighed, nodding. His dark curls bobbed. "You use it as a defense mechanism. It prevents people from getting too close to you. It leaves you free to wander without feeling guilty or attached. It saves you from getting hurt."

"Since when did you become a psychologist?" She retorted.

"If you don't fall for anyone here, that's fine," Jeff assured her. "But... say you do... because hey, you're going to be seeing a lot of these guys over the next seven weeks... so, say you do have a crush on someone... you better act on it."

"Why?" Shane scoffed. "So we can take off in opposite directions after tour is over?"

"That's the beauty of love, Shane," Brandon sighed. He had a dreamy look in his eyes. "Sometimes, you've just got to dive head first into the unknown. All you can do is hope for the best."

After their pep talk, the guys left Shane to change awkwardly in the back seat of the van. She pulled on a Metallica t-shirt and pair of denim shorts over her bikini before clamoring out of the van. She tugged her Toms onto her feet, staggering through the sand after her friends. Teagan and Jeff were already splashing around in the ocean waves, yelling and shoving each other under the surface. West and Brandon were busy setting up folding chairs and inflating a beach ball.

Shane opted to take a seat in the sand, finding a spot several yards away on the top of a low sand dune. From the incline, she could better see the length of the beach. The location was perfect for scoping out her friends, not to mention the other buses and vans as they arrived. She watched the roaring waves crash against the shore, uplifting seaweed and pebbles.

With the morning sun against her back, Shane began to feel warm. She peeled off her t-shirt, tucking it into her lap as she hugged her knees into her chest. Gulls cried from overhead, ready for another day of catching wind and harassing beach bums for food.

"Shaner!"

She looked over, eyebrows furrowed, spotting Vic jogging over to her with a shit-eating grin on his face. He climbed onto the dune and sat down next to her, still giddy with excitement.

"Like the new nickname?" He beamed.

"No," She grumbled.

"You look tired," He told her.

"You're very observant," Shane rolled her eyes.

"Are you tired?"

"Yeah," She sighs, not wanting to disclose her recent sleeping troubles with Vic.

"Van life is pretty rough," He chuckles. "I remember the days."

"Yeah, I guess," Shane nods, staring off at the immense body of water before them. She could feel Vic snaking his arm around her neck.

"Well, just know, my bed is always open," He grinned.

Shane pushed his hand away.

"Thanks, but no thanks,"

"I'm sure you could always ask Kellin if -"

She smacked his arm.

"Shut up, Vic,"

"Do you like him?" Vic teased.

"Who?" Shane pretended not to know what he was talking about as she looked down at her toes, wiggling within her shoes.

"Kellin," He winked.

"Sure, I mean," She shrugged. "He seems nice, friendly... cute..."

"You think he's cute?" Vic squeaked.

"I shouldn't have said anything," Shane sighed.

"I'm not gonna tell anyone," He assured her, holding out his finger for a pinky swear.

"Liar," Shane brushed his hand away. "I'm going for a swim."

She stood up, letting her t-shirt fall to the sand. Shane brushed the sand from her legs before popping the button of her denim shorts, letting them fall to the sand as well. Vic whistled lowly as she picked up her pile of clothes.

"You really are a goddess," He sighed, leaning back on his elbows. 

Shane tossed her clothes into Vic's lap.

"I will kick sand at you if you don't look away," She warned.

"It's a free country, baby," He grinned. "You're the one blocking my view."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Shane](http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=211836849)


	5. Sexual Healing

"Thank you, LA," West breathed into the mic. He lifted his sweaty arms in the air, brushing his matted hair out of his face casually. "What a fucking night."

Shane gave the cheering crowd a salute before walking off the stage, returning her guitar to its stand. Teagan wrapped a sweaty arm around her, pulling her into his side. He pulled West under his other arm.

"I just gotta say," He yelled over the crowd. "That this is magical."

Jeff squeezed his way in between Teagan and West.

"The crowd just keeps getting bigger and crazier," He blurted. "It's insane!"

"It's fucking starting, guys," West grinned.

After their ritual group hug, Shane excused herself to grab a bottle of water. The guys headed off to the change room, ready to enjoy their complimentary beer and liquor. She stuck around backstage while she finished her water bottle. After tossing the plastic bottle into the recycling bin, Shane slipped out the side door.

She was surprised to look up and find Kellin. His nose and cheeks were pink from the sun earlier that morning. His hair was damp, as if having been recently washed. He was leaning against the railing of the stage stairs.

"Shane," He smiled, pushing himself off the wall.

"Kellin," She returned the smile, eyebrow arching. "What's up? What are you doing here?"

"I was... waiting," He told her, scratching the back of his neck. "For you, actually."

"Why?" Shane asked, brushing her sweaty hair out of her face.

"Well, first, you're the best god damn guitarist I've ever seen," Kellin laughed. "You're incredible."

"That's only because Jimmy Page isn't here," She shrugged it off.

"Even still," He insisted.

"Doubtful," She smiled. "But... thanks."

"And, secondly, I was wondering what time you wanted to head out tomorrow morning," Kellin asked. "I mean, I sort of asked Ellie if I could borrow the rental car for the day. She said she wanted it in Phoenix no later than seven."

"Oh... shit," Shane frowned.

"So, I'm thinking... early," Kellin chuckled. "Like, maybe we should hit the road for like seven."

"In the morning?" Shane scrunched up her nose.

"There will be other parks," He shrugged. "I understand if you don't want to wake up that early."

"No," She sighed. "I still want to go. I'll survive."

"I'll supply the snacks as reverence for your suffering," Kellin joked.

"Free food?" Shane's eyes lit up. "I'm in."

"I figured," He winked.

Kellin and Shane returned to their dressing rooms, pausing outside of Plagued's door.

"So, seven?" Kellin confirmed.

"Yeah, seven," Shane nodded. "Hopefully you won't mind me snoozing on the way there."

"It's a short trip," He assured her. "To the park, at least. The trip to Phoenix, that's another story."

"At least you'll have winning company," She winked.

"Lucky me," Kellin laughed. "You watching the rest of the show tonight?"

"Meh," Shane shrugged, stuffing her hands into the pockets of her shorts. "I'm thinking of heading out for a walk. I need some air."

"Maybe some water," Kellin suggested, eyebrows furrowing in concern.

"Good call," She fired a finger-gun at him. "Break a leg out there tonight, eh?"

"Yeah, _eh_ ," He mocked her, laughing as he walked off into the designated Sleeping with Sirens dressing room.

With a sigh, Shane made a quick escape out the exit at the end of the hallway. Outside, the evening air was balmy and warm, nevertheless refreshing. She wrapped her arms around herself in a tight hug, wandering over to the band's van. She leaned against the side, furthest from the venue, out of sight of anyone passing by.

Shane hadn't felt herself since that morning, not after her nightmare involving Aaron. She had felt anxious for much of the day, even having to down two shots of whiskey in secret before hitting the stage for Plagued's set. Her hands were still trembling.

It was hard for Shane to believe that even after so long, Aaron still had such an impact on her. He had never been physically violent towards her, but had often manipulated and belittled her. Mentally and emotionally, she felt broken beyond repair. Shane had an impossible time trusting people, regardless of their loyalty or friendship. She often felt the need to build internal walls, monitoring closely whoever she allowed in, to keep herself protected. As West had already told her, she had a habit of keeping people dangling, so as not to allow herself an opportunity to get hurt.

Shane was the queen of avoiding relationships and commitment. Whatever infatuation she found herself tangled in, she was quick to cut ties and abandon. She swore to herself that it was for the sake of the band, but deep down, Shane knew it was to avoid letting anyone get to know her.

"Hey you,"

Startled, Shane pushed herself off the van. Immediately, she found herself on edge. When she spotted Oliver sauntering over to her, hands stuffed in the pockets of his jeans, she relaxed if only slightly. He flicked his shaggy hair out of his dark eyes, a smirk upon his lips.

"Hey," She sighed, raking her hand through her messy hair. She let her back rest against the door of the van yet again.

"You alright?" He asked, eyebrows raising. "You look spooked."

"I..." Shane hesitated. "I don't know. It's been... a rough day."

"Wanna talk?" Oliver offered, leaning against the van next to her.

"I don't wanna trouble you," She waved him off. "I'm sure you've got something better to do."

"Nah," He shrugged. "Nothing I can think of."

Shane inhaled deeply.

"Alright, well," She licked over her lips. "I've had two... dreams... nightmares... I don't know. All I do know is that I keep seeing... the only person I've been trying to forget."

"What did he do?" Oliver asked, pulling a crisply rolled joint from out of the pocket of his jeans. From his other pocket, he pulls out a lighter.

"Who?"

"Your ex," He said, sparking the end of the joint. He took to puffs before passing Shane the joint. She accepted it, eagerly taking a toke. "That's who you've been seeing, ain't it?"

"Is it... obvious?"

Oliver shrugged.

"Let's call it intuition," He smirks, ready for the joint as Shane passed it back to him. "So, spill it. What'd he do?"

"He..." Shane sighed. "Dumped me."

"That all?"

She rolled her eyes.

"On the day of my Mom's funeral."

"Oh," Oliver frowned, passing her the burning spliff. "Shane... I'm sorry."

"It was five years ago, it's..." She accepted the joint, taking a toke. Shane exhaled through her nose as she finished speaking. "In the past."

" _Clearly_ it's still buggin you," He observed. "Otherwise, you probably wouldn't be dreaming of him."

"Jeff thinks it's because I haven't let it go," Shane admitted, handing off the joint. "He said that I have to... forgive him... and move on. I've been so resistant to forgetting or forgiving him for what happened. I've been pushing other people away, mistrusting them, avoiding them because of his mistakes."

"Jeff might be onto something,"

Shane nodded, kicking a pebble with the toe of her sneaker.

"Can I ask you something... personal?" Oliver handed her the joint.

"Go for it," She shrugged.

"Have you dated since?"

Shane laughed, smoke billowing out of her nose.

"God no,"

"Have you been with _anyone_?" He asked, eyebrows raising as he took the joint from her fingers.

"Yeah," Shane shrugged. "I mean, I've have a handful of casual, typically intoxicated flings but..."

"But..."

"I haven't bothered since," She sighed, eyes darting away sheepishly. "Last year."

"Shit," Oliver snorted.

They finished their joint in silence. Oliver flicked the roach to the pavement, stomping it out with his sneaker. He looked at Shane, tossing his hair aside. His dark eyes were now glossy and slightly bloodshot, matching Shane's blue grey, bloodshot eyes. A smile tugged at the corners of Shane's lips, having been the first time she'd gotten high in a while.

"I'm probably about to overstep my boundaries..." Oliver began.

"Here we go," Shane giggled, rolling her eyes and folding her arms across her chest.

"You do realize that _all_ the blokes here would gladly kill for a shot with you, right?"

"So I've been told," She sighed.

"Just a thought," He shrugged. "Why not take advantage of it?"

"You sleep with one of them, you've slept with all of them," Shane informed him. "I don't really want to dampen my reputation."

"I can keep a secret," Oliver winked.

"I'm here to play music," She reminded him coolly. "Not sleep around."

"Consider it..." He shrugged. "Friends helping friends. No strings attached. Just good old, mind-blowing, anxiety-relieving sex. Trust me."

Shane chewed on the inside of her cheek. She stared up at Oliver, admiring his high cheek bones and dark eyes. He seemed to be genuine about his offer. Regardless of how badly Shane was tempted to take him up on the sex, she was doubtful about his discretion. Secrets never stayed secret for long - especially not on tour.

"I'll think about it," She finally replied, a smile finding a way to her lips. "Tell me how this will help you out exactly? What's in it for you?"

Oliver cracked a devilish smirk.

"Aside from the obvious, I'm sure I'm due for good karma, offering my services so selflessly for my friend," He told Shane, causing her to laugh. "But, honestly, similar reasons to your own. It's a stress relief, helps clear my mind, relieves the tension of being surrounded by the same people 24/7..."

"Sexual therapy," Shane smirked.

"Yeah," Oliver laughed. "Something like that."

"Does this work on every girl you meet?" She asked, eyebrow cocking.

"Nah, but I have a feeling we're not so different, you and I," He told her. "You want it. You need it. You don't want to deal with the bullshit. You just wanna get laid."

"So eloquent," She joked.

"I prefer getting straight to the point," He winked.

"So..." Shane inhaled deeply. "Hypothetically, if I were to agree to this... _arrangement_... how exactly would we keep it between us?"

"Glad you asked," Oliver pushed himself off the van, standing in front of Shane. He lowered his voice, leaning in closer towards her. He placed a hand on either side of her, causing goosebumps to ripple down her arms and legs. "We have ample opportunity during soundchecks and sets to sneak off and _explore_ the venue. Closets, private rooms, bathrooms. Days off are optimal, if we're able to plan ahead and meet up elsewhere. Hotel stays are also ideal, as I usually have a room to myself."

"You've put some thought into this," Shane observed, considering and reconsidering Oliver's offer.

"No bullshit," Oliver reassured her with a grin. "Just great sex."

He pushed himself off of the van, grinning as though he was clearly pleased with their exchange. 

"Why don't you sleep on it," He suggested. "Let me know what you think."

She nodded. 

Oliver turned, ready to head inside the venue. 

"Hey, Oliver..." Shane called after him. 

He stopped, turning around to face her. He was smiling innocently. 

"Thanks," She grinned. 

"For what?"

Shane looped her thumbs through the belt loops of her shorts. 

"For listening," She told him. "For your... generous offer."

"Anytime," Oliver chuckled. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Shane](http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=211905283)


	6. If I Believed in Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Contains sexual content*

Shane teetered on the curb outside the venue. She struggled to keep her tired eyes from drooping shut. The sun was rising in the horizon, promising another beautiful, hot day for the west coast. With a defeated sigh, Shane hopped off the curb, plopping down onto her ass instead. She propped her elbows onto her knees, supporting her chin against her knuckles.

A few minutes later, Kellin pulled to a stop in front of her in a new, sleet grey rental car. With a small smile, Shane heaved herself to her feet. She trudged over to the passenger's side, throwing open the door of the front seat.

"Good morning," Kellin greeted her with a smile.

"It's early," She mumbled as she poured herself into the seat. Shane slammed the door shut after her, looking over at Kellin behind the wheel.

"If you have to sleep, I understand," He assured her, shifting the car into drive, pulling away from the curb. His eyes stayed glued to the road.

"I'll try to make it," Shane yawned.

"It's not that long to the park," Kellin told her with a small smile.

After fiddling with the dials of the radio, Shane dozed off. She awoke nearly two hours later to Kellin gently shaking her, calling her name softly. Her eyes were reluctant to flutter open.

"We're here," He told her.

Shane nodded, unbuckling her seat-belt. Upon looking out the window, she found the landscape was incredibly dry and dusty. She frowned, looking to Kellin.

"I thought we were going to a tree park,"

"Joshua Tree Park," He told her with a nod.

"So, why does it look like..." Shane turned her attention back to the rocky outdoors. "A desert?"

"Because it... is," Kellin explained. "Well, sort of. The park runs along the Colorado Desert and the Mojave Desert."

"I hope you brought water," She mumbled, opening her door. The air was hot and dry, even for nine in the morning. With a sigh, Shane climbed out of the car, grabbing her water bottle off the floor of the car.

Kellin met her around the back of the car with a black backpack, filled with, what Shane hoped, was water and snacks.

"Well, we're here now," He shrugged. "We may as well enjoy it."

"Lead the way, boy scout," She insisted, waving him on.

With a smirk, Kellin started walking into the desert horizon. There were wooden signs guiding hikers and campers through the dry terrain, directing them through mapped trails in and around the Hidden Valley. Shane followed along a few steps behind Kellin, tired feet dragging. She knew it was going to be a long, hot day in the sun, what with the bright, blinding sun hanging high overhead. While it was incredibly hot, the upside was that it wasn't unbearably humid like it was back home.

The landscape of Joshua Tree Park was unlike anything Shane had ever experienced before. Growing up in Canada, Shane wasn't exactly accustomed to desert landscapes. The bristled Joshua trees were so different from the leafy or needled trees that were native to Canada.

Large boulders and rock formations provided shade on occasion. After about half an hour of walking, Kellin stopped in the shade under a large formation, crouching down to open his backpack. He pulled out two Clif bars and his bottle of water. He handed one of the bars to Shane.

"How you doing?" He asked.

"All things considered, it's quite... surreal... out here," She grinned, peeling open the wrapper of her white chocolate macadamia nut energy bar. "I've never seen anything like this."

"Exploring is definitely one of the many perks of touring," Kellin told her. "I've been to almost every national park across the States."

"Wow," She sighed, taking a seat in the shade. The dusty ground beneath her was still cool. She took a bite from her energy bar, savoring the sweet flavor and chewy texture. "Thanks for bringing me with you."

He smiled, shrugging it off.

"I thought maybe you could use it," He said. "It's always nice to... getaway."

"Do I seem tense?" Shane snorted.

"At times," Kellin nodded.

She shrugged, taking another bite from her bar.

"Is it about your... family?" He asked.

"It's about many things," She told him, not wanting to dive into details.

"You're very secretive," Kellin observed.

"I don't let people get close to me," Shane admitted, stuffing the another bite of her bar into her mouth.

"Yeah, I've noticed," He chuckled.

"Don't take it personally," She assured him. "I'm just... guarded."

"Can I ask why?" Kellin persisted.

"Sure," Shane shrugged. "Ask away. I'm not gonna tell you."

He sighed.

"Why not?"

"Because it's..." She popped the last of the Clif bar into her mouth, chewing and swallowing before continuing. "I'm not an open book, alright? I don't want people to know me. I don't want to talk about my past. I'm not ready to let people in. Frankly, it's just... none of your business."

Kellin held up his hands in defense.

When they were finished their bars, they continued walking in silence. Shane felt only slightly guilty for having snapped at Kellin. For the most part, she didn't understand why he wanted to know her so badly, why he was pressing to discover her darkest secrets. It freaked her out.

After another half hour of walking, Kellin stopped at another rock formation, observing it for close to five minutes before finally climbing up onto it. Skeptically, Shane followed after him, careful to find the same hand and foot holds. Once he got to the top, Kellin offered his hands to Shane. Hesitantly, she accepted them, allowing him to pull her up onto the formation with him.

From fifteen feet above the ground, the view of the park was dramatically different. Shane could see desert for miles and miles. She sighed, feeling Kellin give her hand a squeeze. Startled, she pulled her hand away, not having realized they had still been holding hands. Shane busied herself with her water bottle as Kellin gave her a look.

"I'm sorry," He finally spoke.

"For what?"

"For bothering you about stuff you clearly don't want to discuss," Kellin shrugged, eyes falling to the rock beneath their feet. He looked saddened. "For pushing you to open up."

Shane shrugged.

"You're not the only one to try," She reminded him. "I think it's healthy, to open up, to confide in others, and I'm sure that people have only the best intentions when they're trying to figure out what's beneath my surface. But..." Shane sighed. "I'm not ready for that. I don't want to heal. I'm not ready to relive the past, not yet."

"If not now, then when?"

She laughed.

"Hopefully never,"

"But... wouldn't it be nice to eventually let someone in?" He asked, triggering a painful reminder of Shane's nightmares. "Don't you want someone to help you carry your sadness, your pain?"

"No one can help me with this but myself," Shane told him. "It's not anyone else's burden to bear."

"You're stubborn," Kellin sighed.

"That's an understatement," She retorted, folding her arms across her chest.

"I truly believe that love heals all wounds," He told her, digging through the pocket of his shorts for his cell phone.

"Yeah, well, I'd probably have to believe in love first for that to apply," She shrugged.

With a frown, Kellin returned his phone to his pocket.

"We should probably head back," He suggested, changing the subject. "It's getting late. Time flies when you're having fun."

"And wandering the desert," Shane laughed.

♥♥♥♥♥

When they arrived at their hotel in Phoenix, Kellin pulled into a parking spot next to the fleet of tour buses, trailers and vans. He pulled the keys from the ignition and the car quickly became quiet without the sounds of the radio.

"You guys have a hotel room for the night?"

"I hope so," Shane groaned. "I just have to get a hold of one of the guys."

They climbed out of the car, heading into the hotel. Once inside, Shane plopped down onto one of the lobby chairs and dug her phone out of her shorts.

"I have to go return these to Ellie," He told her, jingling the rental car keys. "Do you... mind?"

"Nah," Shane waved him off. "I'm shooting West a message now."

"Right, well, thank you... for joining me today," Kellin smiled. "I really enjoyed your company. Hopefully it won't be the last time."

"We still have six weeks together," She giggled. "I'm sure we can squeeze in another hike or two."

"Fantastic," He grinned. "Have a great night, Shane."

"You too, Kellin,"

After turning on his heel and heading for the elevator, Shane busied herself with her phone. She scrolled through her contacts, chewing on her lip as her thumb hovered over the newest entry. With a sigh, Shane opened a new message.

_**Room #** _

She waited close to five minutes for a reply.

_**333** _

Shane stood up from the cushioned chair and made a bee-line for the elevator. Her legs were far too tired to attempt three flights of stairs. She pushed the button for the third floor, pleased to find the hallway vacant as she arrived. Tip-toeing down the hallway, Shane stopped outside of room 333. She admired her sunburnt reflection in the polished brass numbers before finally knocking lightly on the door.

Within seconds, the door opened.

"Can I help you, miss?" Oliver grinned.

"I'm willing to bet on it,"

Stepping aside, Oliver allowed Shane into his hotel room. The space was more than any one person needed for themselves, but Oliver liked his privacy. For that, Shane was grateful. The door slammed shut after her and Oliver tagged along behind her into the main room. She took a seat on the edge of his plush, queen-sized bed. As Oliver grabbed her a cold beer from the mini-fridge, she couldn't help but admire his bare chest, the way his basketball shorts hung from his hips, and the beads of water dripping from the ends of his damp hair.

"To what do I owe the pleasant surprise?" He asked, handing her the beer.

Shane cracked it open, taking a sip.

"I've been... thinking," She began.

"About?" Oliver cocked his eyebrow. He folded his arms across his tattooed chest and leaned against the fridge behind him.

"Your... offer,"

"And?" He grinned.

Shane took a chug from the beer this time.

"And," She wiped off her lips. "It's been a long fucking time since I've gotten laid."

"That's a shame," Oliver tutted.

"And everyone has been going on and on and _on_ , telling me the same thing..." Shane rolled her eyes. "Learn to _love_ again, let someone in, move on."

Oliver sat down next to her, his leg pressing against hers. Shane took another sip from her beer, finding herself halfway done.

"But love, if it is a real thing and not just some biochemical reaction, takes time... and effort... and trust," She sighed. "It will probably take me more than just a couple dates to be able to love someone, to trust them, to want to open up. At this point, it'll probably take seven years of psychotherapy and heavy sedatives."

Oliver laughed.

"I'm serious," She grumbled.

"So, why did you come here?" He asked, still smiling.

"I'm not looking for love," Shane shrugged. "I'm not... ready... for love."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive," She nodded.

Shane chugged the last of her beer, tossing the can over her shoulder onto the floor. She stared at Oliver hungrily, feeling an aching in her chest and her groin for a temporary filler. Maintaining lustful eye contact, Shane began leaning in, lips brushing Oliver's. Their first encounter was timid. Shane pulled away, feeling uncertain if only for a fleeting second.

Oliver cupped her face in his hands, pulling her into a deeper, far more passionate kiss. Shivers coursed through Shane's body, having been denied the intimate touch of another for far too long. She melted into Oliver, grabbing his shoulders and pulling him on top of her as she flopped back onto the mattress.

One of his hands slithered up her shirt, dancing along the skin of her stomach before cupping her breast. Shane moaned into the kiss and could feel Oliver's lips curling into a smile against her own mouth. With his nimble fingers, he began playing with her nipple. The tingling in her genitals intensified, causing her to grind her hips against Oliver's pelvis. She could feel he was already hard, which only turned her on more.

Oliver nibbled on her bottom lip before pulling away, glossy eyes meeting her own.

"This is our secret, Shane," He said.

" _No one_ can know," She agreed.

"No one," Oliver smirked, lips returning to meet hers.

After playing with her nipples for a little while longer, Oliver snaked his hand into Shane's shorts, pressing his finger into her warm, juicy slit. He moaned, rubbing the pad of his finger softly against her swollen clit. Shane's legs shivered with desire.

Pulling his hand away, Oliver began undressing Shane. He started with her shorts and her panties, then her cropped top and sports bra. He towered over her, admiring her naked form. His fingertips danced along the length of her stunning body.

"You gonna stare," Shane smirked. "Or are you gonna fuck me?"

"Better yet," Oliver grinned. "I'm gonna make you beg for me."

He began playing with her clit, taking his time with slow, tantalizing circles of his tongue. Shane was in ecstacy. She spread her legs wide for his exploration. With his free hand, Oliver twisted and pinched her nipples. Shane bucked her hips with each toy of her breast, craving so badly the feeling of a long, hard dick inside of her.

"Please," She moaned.

"What's that?" Oliver murmured.

"Please," Shane raised her voice. " _Please_ fuck me."

"Louder,"

" _Please please please_ fuck me," She growled. "Hard, fast, deep. Just fuck me."

Oliver didn't ask her to repeat herself again. Instead, he pulled away. Shane watched him drop his basketball shorts. His dick was practically throbbing. Oliver knelt down, digging through his suitcase for a condom. After wrapping up, he crawled onto Shane, sliding himself into her tight, welcoming womanhood.

"Oh... my... fuck," He groaned. "Your pussy feels... like... heaven."

As Oliver began thrusting, he pulled himself up. With one hand supporting his weight, he used his other hand to play with Shane's clit. Her eyes rolled to the back of her skull as her body pulsed with sheer euphoria. She knew it wouldn't take long for her to climax; after all, it had been a while.

She squeezed the walls of her vagina around Oliver, causing him to shiver and moan. She loved the sounds of his moans. Shane raked her nails down his back, pressing deep into his inked skin. Oliver began thrusting harder.

Like a bubbling from the bottom of her belly, Shane felt herself approaching orgasm.

"Oh... my... God..." She moaned.

Her toes began to tingle, all the way up her legs. She felt her hips beginning to buck wildly. The walls of her vagina started to spasm and tighten, leaving Oliver throwing his head back and groaning. With a liberating cry, Shane came, squeezing Oliver tightly within the grip of her thighs. He bellowed out as well, ejaculating in sync with Shane's long, overdue orgasm.

He laid on top of her for a while, kissing her neck and chest.

Finally, Oliver lifted his head, smiling deviously. Shane brushed her hair out of her sunburnt face, at a loss of breath and words.

"You have a magical vagina," He admired.

"I think the magic is in your dick," She giggled.

Oliver kissed her. They shared several short, sweet kisses, followed by one long, passionate kiss, tongues colliding. After Oliver pulled away to remove the condom and wipe off, Shane rolled off of the bed. She began collecting her clothes.

"Leaving so soon?"

"Unfortunately," She muttered.

"You are... absolutely fucking gorgeous," Oliver sighed, sprawling out across the bed. He watched her dress. "Every time I see you, I get to think of you naked."

"Likewise," Shane winked.

"Did you... enjoy it?"

"Wasn't it obvious?" She laughed.

"So, you'd... want to... again?" Oliver smirked.

"So long as we don't get caught," Shane mirrored his smirk. After pulling on her shirt, Shane leaned in for another quick kiss. "Consider yourself my new favourite toy."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Shane](http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=212049551)


	7. Only Ones Who Know

The van rumbled down the city streets of Phoenix, the trailer of equipment rumbling along after it. Shane stared out the window, admiring the change in scenery. On their way to the venue for soundcheck, Brandon had taken a wrong turn by mistake, leaving them currently lost in the downtown.

"So, how was it?" West grinned, turning around from the front of the van to address Shane.

Her face fell.

Shane had successfully managed to avoid the guys the night before, heading straight for the band's hotel room after her romp with Oliver. To her surprise, the hotel room had been empty when she finally arrived. She assumed the rest of the band had headed up to another room for some drinks. Shane took the opportunity to have a long, hot bath before settling into bed.

She was positive that there was no way anyone could have known about her and Oliver. Shane knew West was referring to her day with Kellin, spent hiking and driving to Arizona. However, she couldn't help but feel if only a little paranoid. 

"Did he kiss you?" Teagan teased, turning around from the second row of seats to pucker at her.

She rolled her eyes.

" _Kellin and Shane, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-_ " Jeff sang from beside Teagan.

"Shut up, Jeff," Shane snapped, cutting him off.

"Do you like him?" Teagan asked.

"I would ask if he likes you, but I think it's obvious," West added, running his hand through his curls.

Shane slumped deeper into her seat in the back of the van. With the guys interrogating her about her day with Kellin, she couldn't help but feel only a little bit guilty about her and Oliver's dirty little secret. Shane knew well enough how Kellin felt about her, yet ended up at Oliver's door regardless. It wasn't that Kellin wasn't her type, though Shane wasn't sure if she had a type; it was the fact that Kellin was persistent on breaking down her walls.

Though there were many qualities Shane liked about Kellin, he made her feel threatened.

A part of her wondered if perhaps that was the kind of person she needed to be with - someone who would press her buttons, insist on getting to know her, and push her to be herself - even if the thought alone scared the shit out of her.

However, Shane wasn't ready for that person, not yet (or so she would continue telling herself).

"Shane?" Jeff's voice snapped her out of her daze.

"What?" She sighed.

"You spaced out," Teagan informed her, laughing. "Thinking about... Kellin?"

"Okay, stop," She spat. "We're just friends, alright? _Friends_."

"We're just winding you up," West told her. "Relax."

"What did you guys do, anyway?" Teagan asked. "Just... walk?"

"Yeah," Shane nodded, brushing her hair out of her face. "We walked, he talked, I complained... you get the picture."

The guys started talking about their trip to Phoenix, filling Shane in on all the van shenanigans that she had missed. She listened selectively, mind wandering back to the night before in room 333. She could still feel Oliver's kisses and touch lingering on her skin. She couldn't shake the image of his naked form from her mind.

"... think she's dreaming about Kellin again?" West joked.

"I said shut up," Shane hissed, whipping a bundle of Teagan's dirty socks at West. To her delight, it successfully hit him in the side of the face, mid-sip of his Monster, causing him to spill his energy drink all over himself and the seat.

West glared daggers at her.

From the front of the van, Brandon's cell phone started ringing. West wiped off his sticky hand and grabbed the phone, answering the incoming call.

"Brandon Morris' phone," He answered. "West speaking. Oh, hi Ellie! Yeah, we're lost."

"Give me the phone," Brandon reached blindly for the phone in West's grasp, unable to look away from the road.

"I'm not too sure," West went on. "I feel like we've been driving in circles for about twenty minutes."

In a last act of desperation, Brandon pulled into a parking lot, stopping the van across several parking spaces. He slapped West and grabbed his phone.

"Ellie, hey," He sighed. "Yeah... I... sort of took a wrong... exit. Right. I... know. I promise, we'll be there as soon as we can. If anything, we could just... go last. I know, I know. But... just this... once."

Brandon ended the call, plopping his phone back into the cup holder.

"West," He grumbled. "Get me some directions."

♥♥♥♥♥

To kill time after their soundcheck that they had miraculously made it to, Shane found herself leaning against the wall backstage during the Sleeping with Sirens soundcheck. After deciding that perhaps she had been distant with Kellin the day before, not to mention slightly unfair, she figured she would try to play nice and give him another chance.

With ten minutes left in their practice, Shane noticed the stage door opening from the corner of her eye. Looking over, she spotted Oliver walking in. He was sporting a mischievous smirk and gave her a nod when he noticed her leaning against the wall. Oliver walked over to her, mimicking her lean. His side brushed against hers, closing the gap between them.

Her heart started racing.

"How you feeling?" He asked, leaning down to speak against her ear. His breath was hot against her skin, causing an arousing shiver to ripple through her body.

"Better," She told him with a lopsided smirk.

It was difficult for Shane to keep her hands to herself. She wanted to badly to grab him, to hold him, to kiss him like she had the night before. With a sigh, Shane looked down at the toes of her Dr. Martens.

"Told you so," Oliver brushed aside her hair, fingertips kissing her neck and her ear lobe.

She chewed on the inside of her cheek, looking up from under her thick lashes.

"How about you?" Shane asked, eyebrow cocking.

"No stress," Oliver chuckled. "I've never felt better."

The pair shared a laugh.

"Doesn't it feel good to help your friends?" He asked, eyebrows raising and smiling cockily.

Shane gave him a subtle nudge with her hip, unable to keep herself from grinning wildly. Something about Oliver excited her in a whole new way. Perhaps it was the secretive nature of their relationship that riled her up. Shane usually fell victim to wanting whatever it was she couldn't - or wasn't supposed to - have. Perhaps it was the fact that she had always thought Oliver was sexy as hell, even when she first started listening to Bring Me The Horizon.

"You free tonight?" She asked, the words spilling from her lips without a second thought.

Oliver stared at her lustfully.

"For you, I can make some space," He assured her.

From their short, simple exchange, Shane somehow felt at ease with their arrangement. The worry she had of anyone finding out felt somehow alleviated in Oliver's presence. The reward certainly outweighed the risk when he was standing so close to her. 

When their practice was done, Kellin came over to chat with Shane and Oliver. He was gassed, cheeks red and hair sweaty. Shane handed him a bottle of water, which he accepted with a gracious smile.

"Know if anyone is having a party tonight?" Oliver asked Kellin, capturing his attention.

"Yeah," He laughed. "Us."

Kellin looked to Shane, smiling sweetly.

"You coming?"

"Don't see why not," She shrugged.

"Cool," Kellin nodded, looking back to Oliver. "You guys can host the party tomorrow night."

"Fantastic," He smiled, eyes flickering to Shane before darting back to Kellin. "Well, I better warm up. See you two later."

Oliver winked at Shane before walking away. She stared after him, feeling her heart flutter.

"You staying to watch?" Kellin asked her, slapping her back to reality.

"Uh, no," She shrugged it off. "I'm sort of hungry."

"Surprise," He laughed.

Shane followed after Kellin out the stage door.

"So, since we have tomorrow off," He began, staring back over his shoulder as he trotted down the stage stairs. "I was... sort of... hoping... you'd want to have dinner... with me?"

"Sure," Shane agreed.

"I know a really great place in Albuquerque," He told her, smiling.

"Sounds awesome," She nodded.

"Cool... so it's a... _date_?"

Shane hesitated. Her pause was indicative enough for Kellin; his face dramatically fell.

"Or... not," Kellin sighed, slowing to a stop. They were half-way to their dressing rooms.

"Look, Kellin, I..." She inhaled deeply. "I'm sort of a huge fucking mess, okay? I don't really know if I'm exactly... date... material."

"It's dinner," He reminded her. "Not matrimony."

"Yeah, but I think you should know that my intentions are murky at best and I have a reputation for breaking the hearts of men in skinny jeans," She shrugged.

A smile slowly stretched across Kellin's face.

"So... is that a... yes?"

Shane rolled her eyes.

"I get it, Shane," Kellin grinned, folding his arms across his chest. "You have baggage. Who doesn't? I'm not... rushing anything. I like you, I think that much is obvious. I'd like to treat you to a harmless dinner and maybe find out if you could like me, too."

Shane couldn't help but blush.

Kellin was so sweet, so innocent. His intentions were so clear and pure. Her stomach sank with guilt as she reflected on her choice of action the night before. Had she made a mistake by getting caught up, literally, with Oliver? Would it matter if neither Oliver nor Shane ever mentioned it again?

"So?" Kellin's eyebrows raised. "Would you like to go for dinner with me?"

"Yes," Shane told him, smiling half-heartedly. "I would like that."

They continued on their way towards their dressing rooms.

"So, what happened to you last night?" Kellin asked.

Shane's heart skipped a beat. Surely he wouldn't have asked her out for dinner if he knew, or even had a feeling, that she was lying to him or sleeping around.

"Uh... what do you... mean?" She asked hesitantly, feeling blood rushing to her cheeks.

"You didn't come to the party," He laughed. "Too tired?"

"Oh, yeah," Shane nodded, raking her hand through her hair as she executed her lie. "Exhausted. That hike really took it out of me. All the fresh air and... walking."

"I slept like a baby last night," Kellin told her. "Best sleep I've had in a while."

"Me too," She agreed, smiling slyly to herself. "I didn't even hear the guys when they got in."

"Lucky you," He scoffed. "I'm pretty sure our whole floor heard Justin when he finally came back to our room."

Kellin stopped with Shane outside of Plagued's dressing room door. She smiled sheepishly, looping her thumbs through the belt loops of her shorts.

"Got any plans until show time?" Kellin asked.

"Not really," Shane shrugged. "Probably hang out with the guys, maybe find a quiet place alone where I can read and enjoy some peace of mind."

"Sounds ideal," He smiled. "I won't keep you."

"I'll see you later, Kellin," She chimed, reaching for the door handle of the change room.

As she opened the door, Shane felt a cool, sugary sweet fluid poured all over her. She stood frozen in the doorway of the dressing room, Monster soaking her hair, her clothes, dripping down her arms and legs onto the floor.

Kellin stood frozen in the hallway, not wanting to miss whatever happened next.

Glowering, Shane looked up. West was standing on the counter by the door, a now empty can of Monster in his hand. He was grinning, proud of himself in fulfilling his just desserts.

"Payback," He told her.

"I'm going to kill you," Shane told him, not cracking a smirk. "Better yet, I'm going to extract your testicles, and kill off your lineage while I have the chance."

"Without my seed, how will we create a musically gifted, aesthetically perfect love child, Shane?" West yelped, dodging her first blow at his knees. He peaked out into the hallway, flashing Kellin a charming smile. "Oh, hi there. Didn't see you, Kellin."

"You may want to look away, Kellin," Shane warned him, eyes keen and fixed on West. "I've heard witnessing a murder is often very traumatic."

"I'm just... gonna... go..." Kellin murmured, backing away towards his own change room.

From inside the dressing room, Teagan and Jeff were beside themselves with laughter.

"It's only an energy drink," West protested, jumping out of the way of another slap. "You don't seriously think murder is plausible or just here, do you? Besides, this was an act of revenge as a result of your initial attack earlier."

"What's going on here?" Brandon yelped, pushing past Shane as he made his way into the dressing room. "Shane, why are you wet? West, why the fuck are you on the counter?"

"Finally, an adult," Teagan cried. "Mom and Dad are fighting again."

"Shut up," Shane snapped.

"She's gonna kill me," West informed Brandon. "Look at the crazy in her eyes!"

"Whatever you did, you probably deserve it," Brandon rolled his eyes. "Clean up the floor. Now. Shane, go shower. You smell like... Monster?"

She rolled her eyes.

"I believe Shane was going to perform some kind of surgery first," Jeff joked. "A... testectomy?"

"Shut up," West warned him. "Don't encourage her, Miyoshi."

"I don't even want to know," Brandon sighed.

"Where have you been, Bran?" Teagan asked, shifting the subject. "I don't think I even saw you during our soundcheck."

Brandon busied himself with grabbing paper towels to clean up the pool of Monster in the doorway of their room. His cheeks were gradually becoming more and more flushed.

"Have you been gone all this time?" West asked.

"No, well... sort of..." He muttered. "I was... doing... business."

"Sure," Shane scoffed. "Sounds convincing."

"Tell us the truth, Brandon," Jeff insisted. "Otherwise, I'm sure we'll find out eventually."

Shane stomach's sunk at the thought.

"Okay, fine," Brandon sighed. "I was... with... Ellie. We had been discussing why we were so late, primarily, and then plans for tour... and then... I just lost track of time..."

"You like Ellie," West beamed.

"Why don't you say that a little louder?" Brandon scoffed, rolling his eyes. "Don't think the entire hallway heard you, West."

"She's cute," Jeff gushed. "She reminds me of a punk rock fairy."

"Right, but she's still my boss, so how about we keep this little tidbit to ourselves, okay?" Their manager insisted. "I can handle this myself."

"You got it, boss," Teagan saluted him from the sofa.

"Besides, we have Shane to tease," Jeff added with a laugh. "Her reactions are way more entertaining."

Shane rolled her eyes.

"I'm going to shower."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Shane](http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=212975559)


End file.
